My Story: A Testimony & Ministry

I grew up in a Lutheran Church. At the young age of two months I was baptized and at 14 I was confirmed into the membership of the church. To me, following Christ meant being able to distinguish between right and wrong.  I had little awareness of Christ’s love.  I often thought of Him in terms of Him dying for my sins, but not of His love for me.  My faith was very heavy in legalism.  This often caused me to judge my friends and family in their daily life, resulting in heated debates about controversial issues.  I thought it was my job to tell them how they were living their life incorrectly. These circumstances were frequent while I was in middle school and also during the years I attended Lincoln High.

It was when I got to college that God really started peeling back the layers.  I got involved in a Christian student ministry which taught me about grace.  God revealed to me the depths of my wrongs in judging others and how He is the only one qualified to judge.  I realized I had only been displaying God’s judgement and not His love.  During this gradual realization, I also realized how broken I am and that I as well deserve to be judged by God.  This is truly when Christ captured my heart and showed me the Gospel is a message of truth and grace.  We fall short of perfection indefinitely and cannot meet God’s expectations.  Yet, He offered Christ as a sacrifice to cover our imperfections so that we could know Him.

These truths compelled me to live life differently. Now, when I dialogue about life with people, I listen to their heart and realize despite any mistakes they have made, I have made them too.  I want them to know that our real purpose and fulfillment comes from Christ.  We are going to continue to make mistakes, but He can help us change.  While I accepted Christ at a young age, it was really in college that I decided I wanted Jesus to have complete leadership of my life.

I graduated college in May 2010 with a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Sociology and minoring in Business.  During my college years, God gave me a lot of immensely valuable gifts.  While involved with campus ministry, I experienced community filled with love and challenges to grow in my character.  Additionally, as a junior, I was able to study abroad in Northern Italy for three months while studying business.  I carry these experiences with me to this day.

Following college, I felt God calling me to go on my first missions trip.  In the summer of 2010, I spent five weeks serving in the inner city of New York City.  During my time of serving, I observed God’s deep love for people and His desire for people’s needs to be met.  This meant holistic needs: physical, spiritual, emotional and so on.  I ended my time there feeling a yearning in my heart to continue investing time in NYC, but I had to return home.

Upon my return, I felt lost and uncertain of what God had next for me.  I continued to pray for His direction as I job searched and sought community outside of college. In the winter of 2010, I felt God calling me to intern with the inner city ministry of Cru in NYC.  Through an arduous journey of praying, seeking, and doing, God brought me to NYC in October of 2011.  I was excited, I felt so confidently that God had me where He wanted me.  I served for two years as an intern with Cru, working with churches and ministries in the inner city.  We equipped them to meet not only physical needs, but spiritual ones as well.  We trained partner ministries on how to start programs for adults, we distributed food and other necessary items, and we also helped ministries get volunteers.  My role was to share about what God was doing through our ministry via website, Facebook page, and Twitter.  I would share about our events and coordinate our volunteers.  God enabled me to serve in ways I didn’t anticipate, but were very satisfying. I got to invest in college art students who were following Christ.  In the summers of 2012 and 2013, I helped staff short-term mission trips to NYC where students learned how to integrate their art and faith.  It was exciting to encourage and help creative believers grow.

Despite these experiences and the desires that God has placed on my heart.  There is another place that has stayed on my heart for a number of years and that is Italy. Throughout the past few years, I have considered returning, but God has had me elsewhere.  I have decided to step-out in faith and serve God in Rome the next year.  This is not because it is comfortable, but because it is a place God has put in my heart.  I know that He will use my love for speaking the language (the little I know!) and my intrigue for Italian culture to help me connect with Italians.  God often asks for our willingness and obedience and so I am responding by committing to serve in Rome for a year. Following God is always an adventure and I know He will use me in the process!

Shifting & Turning

If I think through this past year, it has brought on many changes. 
I moved here a little over a year ago and SO much has happened. 

Testament to God's plan and not my own I suppose. 
Here's a quick run-down:

Moving for my first time ever, away from friends and family, and the only house I've ever lived in. [Granted I had three long-term stays away from my hometown, two months in New York State, three months in Italy & one+ months in NYC].

Having expectations change.  One big one was expecting a friend to move with me. 
Within the past year, I've had two good friends leave.  One I worked with closely, the other was my first roommate. 

God continues to change my support system and reminds me to be first relying on Him.  Community is important and necessary, but needs to be grounded in Him first. 
We need other people, but we need Him greatly. 

He reminds me through my circumstances. 

Unexpected situations may be more difficult than ones that we can anticipate. 
Speaking, erm, writing of such...

It's been almost two weeks since Hurricane Sandy. 
The first day, I spent bundled up in my home with one my roommates.  Feeling little affect if any--mostly rattling windows and some chilling breezes.  While, others experienced destruction. Some people are still without power.  People lost their homes and possessions to flooding.  Some people even died. 

I think of these situations and see how God brings hope out of the ashes.  The beauty of people coming together to respond to need.  Why do we need a natural disaster for this?  Perhaps uncertainty brings compassion out of us, because we cannot blame people for their situations.  Even as I ponder that, I thank God for His calling of people to rise up and take action.  Rise UP and respond, with grace, truth, and the love of Christ. 

I'm thankful in a time such as this, that I am present amongst difficulty.  Although my space was untouched, my work was less fortunate.  We are feeling the affects of the storm surge, but are grateful for SO much.  We feel overwhelmed in a good way as we see people serve us.  We don't deserve such love.  God is good.  And more so, I get to respond to others' needs throughout the city. 

And now, six days from our event, I continue to turn my head, to our current focus.  BOX OF LOVE.  Why provide thousands of families with Thanksgiving meals? God loves them!  We want people to know this, so we serve, and strive to provide.  So that, they know despite their circumstances, we notice them.  More importantly, they are not forgotten by God. 

We get to provide for more families this year, due to the storm. 
I know and trust God uses the hardest of experiences to move in people.  Let's see Him work and be amazed! 

That Calling Thing

Woah.  I have really left you all with a cliff hanger, huh?

I did not expect you to be sitting on the edge of your seat and I hope you haven't because that would be a painful wait. 

Pardon my delay in posting...

God has called me to stay in New York! [to intern a second year]

By now you probably know this, but I felt it is past due for me to expand.

At the beginning of this process, I spent a lot of time talking with friends, praying, and contemplating where God may have me.  Uncertainty is a hard place to be.  This is one of many times when God holds me close.  

I’m currently reading a book, “Not a Fan”, by Kyle Idleman, which overall challenges my perception of how I follow God.  In reference to my uncertainty and calling though, this statement hit me, “Jesus wants followers who will say yes to him before they even know the request.  A follower of Jesus says, “My answer is yes, now where did you want me to go?” Jesus may point to Burma, or he may point across the street (180).”  

What I’m trying to say, is that I desire to have a willingness to serve anywhere. 

Right now that means, God has me in New York.  Sometimes that is difficult, like when I spend time with dear friends, who understand calling or striving to serve Christ, and I know I can’t see them all the time.  Or, when it means not having Sunday coffee with my mom after church because I’m too far away.  Or, when I make friends in the city and then they move away.  

I don’t want to forget the beauty, too.  Like, when God uses our ministry to show children they’re loved.  Or, when I get to interact with fun families volunteering or visit the one who lives below me.  Or, when I get to enjoy a waterfront park.  

God calls us regardless of the circumstances.  Drop this and pick up this.  And by this, I mean the cross.  

God never said following Him would be easy; in fact, there are many examples in the Bible where followers have endured much difficulty.  

Uncertainty can be difficult, but knowing that you are being called somewhere is powerful.  That challenge is a purposeful process where God brings me closer.  

Those months of seeking Him and continue to seek Him as I prepare to return to NYC.  Refining.  The process of which can be painful, but so amazing as I trust Him to provide.  Thankfully, I have been affirmed through many people as I pursue another year of serving there.  

So, yes, to another year in ministry.  Yes, to uncertainty.  Yes, to risk and pain.  For the sake of the love of Christ.  For others to know Christ, through actions and words.  God, take me there.

The Cliff

I think I'm on the precipice.

I don't think it is dangerous, but it may be painful.  I don't think God desires to put me in pain, but desires something grander a molding of sorts.  You know, when you experience pain, but it teaches you a lesson?

I'm there, perhaps.  Or, maybe I'm being dramatic.

I think of my expectations, connections, and desires and realize that some go unfulfilled or unmet.  Really though, is that a bad thing?  I think of how God's plan is greater and how He has surprised me time and time again with His plans and goodness.

Thinking to the New Testament, I remember the texts when Jesus claims to be THE Messiah, King of KINGS, Lord of Lords, THE son of GOD...And, I think, the Jews of the time did not expect their Messiah to be poor, one who serves, or who heals, but instead someone who takes over and reigns the Earth.  Yet, I believe, that what God had in store was much greater than the Jews could have ever planned for their Messiah.

Makes me think, do I look at my life that way?
I plot out the steps and when God shows me the plan, I think God, that's not what I had in mind or expected and I'm not sure about your plan.  Hmm.  Makes one think. 

I'm hoping I soon jump off this precipice into the trust of God's plan.

Slam it?

Open it.

Slam it.

Leave it ajar?

Like many, many times before, I ask God, what's next? Where do you want me?
I know, errrrt, back-up, right?

I'm here for the next six months.  Yet, it's time for me to make a decision I'm not ready to make yet.  When I first arrived here I knew that I should start praying about what was next after the end of my internship.  Yes, I'm a planner.  However, I arrived just four months ago.  I knew this time would come, but I thought I would be ready to make a decision.

This is why my prayer is to ask God, not just about staying here, but if there is something else, something different, I should do afterwards.

This is my conundrum.  I think, like many other times, God is testing me.  Saying, "Where's your faith?  Do you trust me?"  And, in His perfect time, seemingly the last moment, He will make it crystal clear to me and lead me forward. (The story about Jesus calming the storm seems like a perfect fit for this situation...I'm a disciple.)

In my determination for a black and white answer from God, I am praying that God will slam doors or open doors so that I can follow.  If you believe that God answers prayer, please pray with me.  I know God is sovereign, loves me, and desires all nations to know Him.  I pray I am compelled by this.  

The So What

Recently, I went to a Social Media Conference with a couple other staff members. I'm not going to blog about the conference, but the concept of "so, what?" was brought forward. It seems very pertinent to life.

I'm doing all this things in my life, so, what? Meaning, for what purpose?

I'm reminded that I am doing inner-city ministry. So that..
God will be glorified. People will know His name, His love, and realize purpose.

Whenever I think about what I am doing or what I am doing something, I need to come back to that. Purpose is God-centered.

I wish I could easily sum-up these first few months of interning. I'm honest when I say, I'm disappointed that I have not updated since arriving. I am not disappointed, however, that I have been present in our ministry. Although, part of me often thinks, or has a tendency to think, I could be doing more.

If you have been receiving my newsletter updates, that is super awesome. I enjoy sharing what is going on with ministry, but don't get an opportunity to share what is on my heart as often.

God has been pointing me to live in the present. I often desire to know, what's NEXT? This is the planner in me--so I often look to the future. This in itself is not bad, but can lead to not be "presently present". So, I pray I can balance being in the 'here and now' and trusting God for direction and obedience. So that, I can best serve God.

These past few months we held a couple of outreaches. I have been doing some ministry of my own so that people who are often overlooked by society can know, can experience, God's great love for them. I believe, as a Christian, we are called to this.

I'm called to love others so that they can know God. I have been reminded, these last few months, of not only doing, but saying... Yes, I'm serving, so that people can know Jesus Christ in reality.

Basically, I don't know what I'm doing all the time, but trusting God, and serving God, because I don't know what is next, but I do know He wants me here right now. Thankfully, I can appreciate a mystery.

"And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the LORD, be near to the LORD our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of his servant and the cause of his people Israel according to each day’s need, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other. And may your hearts be fully committed to the LORD our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time." 1 Kings 8:59-61

Swimming

So you know that feeling?

The one where you are in a pool? When you try running and you feel like you are barely moving? That is where I am right now.

I am running after God's calling--seeking His plan, where He wants me. Yet, God still has me at home. I try to figure it out, but can't, it must mean there is some purpose for me to be here now...still.

I will fight for this. I will follow you God.

A dear friend brought to my attention chapter eleven of Hebrews; here are some verses that have stood out to me recently. Although, I recommend reading the whole chapter; the whole book.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." Hebrews 11:1-3

By faith, I am running up this mountain, awaiting God's guidance and provision. I believe He will get me through, again, again, and again...

Doubting

So, I thought I would not be blogging until I started my internship. However, I felt an urging that I should blog today. Thoughts are churning.

I will be honest, I have had my doubts about support raising (not the idea of it, but how/if it will be completed). I wonder, who doesn't?? It has been frustrating, putting work into it and not knowing what is going to happen. I remember this work is not in vain. There is PURPOSE. I feel deep deep deep down that God is urging me...

Do you believe I can provide?
Do you know I own all?

Apparently, I doubt the Almighty. I was so confident before. What is different, God or me?

Twice today, TWICE, I heard the story, although familiar to me, about the crowd, two fish, five loaves of bread, the disciples, and Jesus. The story can be found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, and Luke 9. The disciples doubt that Jesus can provide food for thousands of people, yet He does it. Not only that, but people were satisfied, and there was a surplus of food. Why do I question when I have seen personally how God provides TIME and TIME again?

I also feel prompted.
Do you TRUST that this is my plan for you?
I know it is, but this doubt is frustrating. I don't want to doubt God's plan.

So, here it is...God, I can't promise I won't doubt anymore. However, God, I will be obedient and trust You to carry me, because I'm not strong enough.

Perspective

A while ago, I was looking and reading through my old blog entries, just up to the beginning of summer project, not my study abroad experience though. It has been interesting going through all my thoughts about summer project. I just realized that today marks the almost two month period of being home. It has not been without its ups and downs. I also recognized that today is the two-month “anniversary” of our cat being put down. I did not reveal this before, but my family put her down the last night I was at summer project. It was hard to say the least. She was about seventeen years old and I basically grew up with her around…she was three when we got her.

Anyway, I don’t want to get wrapped up in writing about our sweet cat, that’s not quite what I wanted to write about today. Last time I wrote, I was still adjusting to being back home and now I’m used to it. I can’t for certainty say I am where I believe I am supposed to be. However, for now I think God has me back home, until my next journey is revealed. I have had a lot of opportunities to talk to people about my summer and tell them what a blessing it has been as well as tell them it is JUST the beginning. God has broken my heart for many people.

My existence back here is such a change. I’m job searching and am no longer a student. In New York, my time was so planned and focused—it’s not quite like that now. Certainly, I continue to be organized and purposeful with my time, but not to that extent. I have been able to spend quality time with friends, doing things such as, baking, watching football, organizing my things, helping my parents, writing friends and much more. As much as I desire a full-time job, I feel I have been blessed with this time to do other things. One big joy has been my time with a local ministry.

Since the beginning of August, I have been doing service work with a ministry that focuses on meeting the needs of people and being a light to the community. I help with food distributions and kids’ nights. There are challenging moments, for instance, when I cannot understand someone because I don’t speak their language. Sometimes, it gives me a longing to know as many languages as possible. This most recent time was a little trying, but SO worth it. It was in the forties on Saturday and I got placed at a table with frozen food. I didn’t have gloves and I was handling frozen poultry. This is not to complain, but to say that giving and participating in meeting people’s needs can be difficult, but so beautiful. As it says in Deuteronomy 15:7-8, “7 If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. 8 Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs.” I am giving my time and my care, but in the scheme of things it is not too much. I don’t mean this in a good or bad way. I pray people are blessed through the things we are doing and see Christ’s love through our giving. Someone cares. They are not unimportant.

I’ve continued to seek what this means in relation to my family and friends. How do I love them? How do I care for them and show them Christ’s love? Being sinful, it can be a challenge, but I know in the end, following Christ is the way to live. Summer project has definitely been a useful tool, for developing how I relate to others and show them love. I feel this is often displayed in service. Also, I have been reading some books since I returned home.

The first one I read was by John Piper, a popular preacher among my friends and the book was given to me as a graduation gift from a dear couple I know. The book is entitled, “Life As A Vapor” and is a reminder that life is fleeting and quick. What should I be doing with my time?? Some choice quotes from the book:

“We simply do not know whether one path or the other will prove to be the path on which some remarkable turn of affairs may take place for the glory of God all out of proportion to what we planned or expected” (83-84).

“But we are not responsible that the choices we make, with the best motives and knowledge available, and with good counsel, will prove to be the most influential or effective choices in producing converts or changing lives. That is God’s work, not ours” (84). This quote really resounded with me because it reminds me, that it is not my work, but God’s and even my BEST efforts are not good enough if done on my own. I can only do what is in my heart and what God expects of me and trust His plans for what I’m doing.

“God is not like a firefighter who gets calls to show up at calamities when the damage is already happening. He is more like a surgeon who plans the cutting He must do and plans it for good purposes” (126). This reminds me that God has plans (Jeremiah) and that it is purposeful for me to endure the difficult times. A verse that shows I will not always understand God’s actions: “For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the spirit of God”. 1 Corinthians 2:11
I highly recommend that book; it was the first Piper book I read. I’ll probably read more. Following that book, I just finished, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. It, as well, is a Christian book. It gave me a lot of perspective about relationships, both romantic and platonic. Throughout reading these books, I’ve also periodically been reading a book called “Who Is Black? One Nation’s Definition” by F. James Davis. It’s pretty interesting; it’s a historical-sociological look at how society has defined who is African American. I guess I have really taken up reading since I have returned, but then I cannot remember when I did not like reading.

Something that has been good about this time back home…just a lot of searching and seeking God. I’m blessed that I have time to serve others, spend time with people, and parents who are patient with my job search. I’ll end this with good news---I got offered a part-time job! God IS good. I ponder this blessing especially today when I met a homeless man who became homeless two months ago when he lost his job. May God provide him relief and hope.

Finishing Moments

So, I have been home for less than two weeks now and being away from New York has not got much easier. I trust God is doing something greater that I do not understand right now. In efforts to reflect more on my experience, I want to continue sharing details.

My last Saturday in New York was an adventure. The plan was that seven of us would be going to Staten Island for roller-skating. Some others from our track went to Rockaway Beach instead. Those who were going to Staten Island were getting dressed up with fluffy voluminous styled hair, off the shoulder I <3 New York t-shirts, tights, shorts, headbands and knee high socks. Needless to say, we were a pretty noticeable group, but it was all in fun. Little did we know that the trip would take several hours and we would not end up going roller-skating at all. We took a ferry and a couple of buses in attempts to get to the rink. A couple of the girls had to turn back because they had to babysit in a few hours. And, after they left us, the bus driver dropped us off at an ice-skating rink in the middle of nowhere. This means no sidewalks, no shoulders on the road, woods around the building, no other buildings in sight, and the place was closed. After a few situations, we were able to make our way back to Manhattan by six that night (we had left at noon). It was actually kind of humorous rather than annoying. However, having not had much to eat that day, we quickly got ready after returning and went to dinner nearby. Later that evening I saw, “The Secret Life of Bees” and went to bed late. Oops.

Although Saturday did not turn out expected, it was nice to experience Staten Island in an unusual way and have some time with the girls. I looked forward to Sunday because I knew that I would be going to Brooklyn Tabernacle again. At one point during the service, they called down anyone who was unemployed and I went down and they prayed for us. It was very powerful and perfect timing since it was my last Sunday there. God’s planning for sure. The service spoke about not complaining in anything (Philippians 2:14-18). Something that the preacher stated that just really hit the point was, “Jesus didn’t murmur on the way to the cross when the disciples fought over “who was the greatest””. The Son of Man was going to overcome the sin of the entirety of mankind and He did not complain. Woah, I have no place to complain; I am messed up. That statement was a reality check. That day, I went with a few other girls to movie/t.v. sites throughout the city (for example the Friends’ apartment building). In the evening, I had some quality time with my discipler, we went to the Burger Joint for dinner then to Serendipity 3’s to put our name in. We were told we would have up to a two hour wait. It’s a pretty popular place. This was good because I had time to pick up some gifts for people, but also more time to reflect with my discipler. I got to consider my concerns and some of the things I had learned and get her input. It was really helpful and I’m still considering all that project has done; what God has done during project. Eventually, around 9;30 that evening, we got a table in the restaurant and ordered the famous Frozzzen Hot Chocolate. It’s huge and delicious. It was fun to just enjoy it and have time with some of the staff and some of the girls from my project. I was reminded that those were some of our last moments together. I was thankful for that time.

Monday was a good day as well. It started off slow and with time focusing on God. At about two I saw a movie with one of the staff women, maybe you have heard of it. Inception? Yes, I hope you have. I wasn’t planning on going to movie while in New York, but she really wanted to see it and I enjoyed going as well. If you haven’t seen Inception, I highly suggest it! By the time the movie ended it was after 4, so we headed to our favorite coffee shop Grounded. There, I grabbed a latte and she got an Americano. I may or may not have seen some t.v. stars there, but I’m not certain of their names. With our coffees in hand we walked towards a landmark I had heard about from a local, called High Line. This is a raised park, garden, and walkway. Originally, it was a raised rail, but for some reason or another it was put out of service. The residents of the area did not want it removed, so since then (it’s still very new and is not completely constructed) High Line has been created. It is currently ten blocks long, but will be twenty by its completion. It was quite a wonderful place and it gave us a setting to just walk and talk about project and about returning home. After walking the length once, we realized it was time to return to our residence to get ready for the last Monday Night Meeting. So we quickly walked back.

That night we got a chance to collectively praise God for what He had done on project by singing and sharing. We also got some time to fellowship while eating pizza and preparing letters for our supporters. We were reminded that it would be difficult to return home. Yet, it would also give us a chance to share what we had learned and continue to develop it. The speaker said something that was so true, but something that I tend to forget too often: “The degree to which we find worth in Christ will affect the degree to which we follow and give for Him”. My worth is shown when I fully follow God’s will for me. That’s what I seek often, or at least try to.



Tuesday was our LAST full day in New York. It was full of a lot of emotions. At first when I got up that morning, I had noooo idea what I was going to do that day till the evening. I wanted to make it last. I wanted to make it something. I wanted to make Tuesday meaningful. I really wanted to go to one last art museum before leaving NYC. I was enthused when a couple other girls were interested in doing the same! We went off to the Met for a couple hours in the afternoon. It was such a blessing and I really appreciated their willingness. After looking at sculptures, paintings, and other pieces, it was time to return home to get ready for our project banquet.

We went to Carmine’s in the Upper West Side for the (whole) project dinner; only a couple hundred of us. Dinner was served family style and had many courses. Throughout dinner we had bread, salad, two types of pasta, two types of meat, various desserts, and coffee. Needless to say, there was a lot a lot of food. It was good because it was time for us to just enjoy each other’s company. Dinner was very filling and although I received some bad news during dinner, I was excited for what followed dinner. We left Carmine’s for the Empire State Building where we would hear from the project director Ross, see an overview video, and (finally!) dance. Ross expressed his appreciation for the hard work of the project staff and presented them with “Tribeca” tote bags. The video was short and sweet, lasting for the duration of two songs and giving me a short time to ponder the entirety of project. In a few words, project was full of God’s glory, furthered my love for others because of God’s love, and reminded me of my human weakness. Maybe that wasn’t a few words, but it’s too difficult to be short about. I think that’s evident from my blog.

Since I’m fairly shy some of my friends were surprised at my excitement for dancing. They did not expect me to (really) dance which I found entertaining. I did not want the night to end. I did not want my time with project people to end. The dance and clean-up ended around 11 o’clock hour. I tried to find something to do with others. However, only a few of us ended up walking around Manhattan for a little bit and stopped at McDs. I was too full to get anything. Afterwards, I returned to my residence and went to the roof for the last time where I visited with a few girls. I ended up staying up until about two that morning in preparation to leave and attempting to prolong project.

The next day, a dear project friend and I rode a taxi to the airport together. (I hailed the taxi on the first try!) I tried to stay with her at the airport as long as I could; her flight was thirty minutes before mine. My flights went quickly, but not without a little hunger (my flight was around lunch time so I ate quite a few pretzels). I got some time to journal on the plane and start the reflection process. Almost two weeks later and I’m still reflecting. More on that next time.

Nearing the End

Since I last wrote, I have left New York. It was difficult to leave and I was not ready. However, I want to catch up since my last entry!

Our last ministry site was in Brooklyn and it was called Power Up Fellowship and Faith (Puff ministries). It is in Brownsville, which is considered one of the most dangerous parts of Brooklyn—this was proved further when on one of our days the Bishop took us to the police precinct for that area. It was eye-opening to hear the stats for the violent crimes in that area. At first, it was a little scary to know the reality, but then I reminded myself that I had not once felt unsafe in that area. The Bishop had always made me feel safe with my team and as well, I knew that God had plans for us there. Usually, the Bishop from this ministry works with gangs to defuse violence. At the time we were working with the ministry we were focusing on other things. During the time we were at Power Up, our team helped clean up the church, pull weeds, pick up trash, play with the Bishop’s grandchildren, and set up a table filled with donations for community members to come by and take. A couple of my team members went to stores nearby to ask for donations and one store gave some items to put on the tables. The Bishop had such a joy about serving in that area and before we left he asked us what we learned and how we thought they could better serve the community. I thought it was very humble of him to do such and I appreciated that he would ask us. The Bishop and his wife, the Pastor were two very wonderful people to work with and I enjoyed serving their ministry. In August, they will be having a health and education fair so please pray that they are equipped with the resources to best serve the community.

During the week of our last ministry site we had our usual meetings—Monday nights for the whole track, Tuesday night we had dinner at one of the staff’s apartments and discussed compassion, and Wednesday was a free night. On the night of Thursday the 15th we had a progressive dinner. There are a few staff people that live on a certain part of the city and so our whole track split into three (“Action group” which is like a bible study group) and took turns going to different staff apartments. After going to three different apartments and discussing staff life in the city- the whole track reconvened in a community center for dessert and track debrief. Debrief was a time for our track director to encourage us to continue to grow in what we learned on project and in our faith in Christ. It gave all the participants time to share stories from experiences throughout project. I was really empowered by the stories that the people on my track shared because they not only shared what had happened to them, but were also very honest and glorified God through their speaking. The night was a little bittersweet because it was one of our last nights together as a complete track.

On Friday, a few of the girls and I went to China Town to pick up souvenirs for people. We had to be fast about it because we had to meet the rest of the track back at our residence at 1. We were having one last (complete) track time because our director and some other staff were leaving for home on Sunday. I enjoyed exploring China Town with the girls. Our track went to Governor’s Island which we had to take a ferry to (I think it was pretty hot that day). The plan was to either ride bikes around the island (“free Fridays”) or to just walk around. Most of our track explored on foot, however a couple staff families rode a family bike/cart. There were a bunch of beautiful buildings and just open space there (no one resides on Governor’s Island). A group of us just walked around…I eventually got a chicken pita (that eventually squirted on me!) and then icecream. We stopped at a playground and swung. Time went really quickly and we went back to meet one another as a whole track. We took time to pray as teams and as a track before taking the ferry back to Manhattan. We thanked God for experiences and the work he had done in us and through us. It was prayed that He would continue those things. We had to say goodbye to some staff and the realization that project would be ending soon set in.

After returning from Governor’s Island a group of us got ready to go the Art Installation that the Art track had been preparing for all summer. It was ah-mazing. I’m already such an art lover, but it was even greater to see artists who wanted to incorporate their faith with their art. There were seven pieces: some were installations, some were photos, one was a performance, and another was a short film. It was all introspective and included themes. It gave me a lot to think about and to appreciate as well. Afterwards the group of us that went to the installation went to dinner in Chelsea. We went to this restaurant called RUB (Righteous Urban Barbeque) where we got a meat plate and some sides. The six of us ate most of it (it was delicious!) and then saved the rest to give away. Once finishing dinner we split in half and I and two other women walked around Chelsea. First, we stopped in a random dollar store and then we ended up at Hudson River Park. It was beautiful at night. We explored further and then went back home. Before we went back, we had a chance to pray for a homeless man and give him our leftovers. He had some difficulties with his wife and it was our prayer that he would turn to something other than alcohol to relieve his pain. It was a full and memorable last Friday.

Simulation and Forward

Well—part two of simulation information is here. Our track was informed we would have to go out into Manhattan (we were in Queens at that moment) to do a scavenger hunt in groups. There were three people in our group. As a part of the scavenger hunt we had to do things like collect 20 cans or bottles, ask a stranger for 25 cents, find something useful in a dumpster, find something to eat, ask where to find various emergency assistance helps, talk to an elderly person, and more. I have to be honest, at first I was annoyed and frustrated that we had to do this. Unlike other ministry teams, ours had been sheltered from being seen by much of the public except when we were waiting outside the warehouse. It was selfish, but I didn’t want to be seen by a bunch a people and I didn’t want to talk to them or make that effort. I felt uncomfortable in the clothes I had worn for two days, that I had slept in, worked in, sweated in, and had gotten dirt in. At some point during the process, God changed my heart. I was blessed to have a team member step up and talk to people because I seemed to inhibit myself from reaching out for help. I could easily see how it could quickly become frustrating for homeless people to ask for help. People ignore the homeless, respond negatively (by speech or looks), and do not often have the information needed—this is what my team experienced anyway. At the end of the scavenger hunt, we were to meet the staff at a subway stop near our residence and I thought, “That would just be mean to tease us like that if we weren’t done”. Our group ended up having a long conversation with a woman who had been homeless. She informed us of the difficulty she has had getting a job, keeping clothes (they frequently got stolen), among other issues. She really had a lot to tell us, it was important to listen, but then we were late meeting the others. Whoops.

It ended! We returned to our resident Thursday night. Although it was only two days, God used it to impart a lot of wisdom and insight:
- Desperation and sadness can come on quickly when in dire situations.
- I have to depend on God for strength—hunger, tiredness, and weakness—I cannot overcome on my own.
- I didn’t care enough about those in poverty before even though I thought I did.
- My life is rich with blessings which I can offer to others.
- People are meant to interact with one another—what happens when an individual is frequently ignored? Would they go crazy or what?
- I should consider how I can better minister to people’s needs with what I have.
- I had it better than people in real poverty do and yet, it was hard. How difficult it must be to experience daily struggle to survive within an indefinite time period.
- Do NOT discount people based on appearance or their standing in life. It is not that simple to understand someone. Stop, listen, and love.

Those are just snippets of what I have learned and been reminded of by the simulation. The day after, Friday we were encouraged to sleep in and ponder over the experience because we were going to discuss it that night. We arrived at our debrief location where we were videotaped and our whole group discussed poverty. Afterwards, our staff sweetly served us dinner (Italian food!) and we had dessert afterwards. Following that our track voted to watch “Remember the Titans” (I voted for “Up”) and enjoyed each other’s company. We cleaned up the space and a small group of us went to Times Square for a little bit.

Saturday and Sunday I did some random things: went to a coffee shop (which I saw a bride and groom at…unique!), stopped at a ministry event, went out to eat, went shopping, saw the Brooklyn Bridge (and walked across), had ice cream (twice!), and my favorite: attended Brooklyn Tabernacle! It is a church that has a huge choir. It’s more than that though…the passion for God is grand and their desire to listen to the Holy Spirit is great! During the service we prayed for some Christians in Pakistan because in their area requests to kill Christians had been made. It was difficult to hear, but also revealed reality of how good I have it to feel safe most of the time.

On Monday (yesterday), we started our fourth and final ministry site! Sad, just sad because I feel I can do more here. I feel it shouldn’t be over soon—I’m not ready. Please pray our teams continue to work hard, stay focused on being here, and that we share God’s love!

Feeling It

So, on the Fourth I did see fireworks, from a rooftop near the river. FUN! I’m glad I did, otherwise it wouldn’t have felt like the Fourth. About half of my track was at this apartment building because a friend had invited us over. We ate beef hotdogs, kettle chips, and chocolate chip cookies on the roof and Catch Phrase followed. After the fireworks show ended, we waited a while to leave because there were SO many people leaving Hudson River Park after having watched fireworks. The next day we started our next ministry site.

My team’s ministry site this week was at Here’s Life Inner City. This is the Inner City ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. Here’s Life comes alongside already existing ministries and equips them with tools and resources. The first day at the ministry site (Monday) we were preparing dinner bags. Monday night our whole project (less than 200) did a homeless outreach in Manhattan. To prepare for that our team and thank goodness another team (11 people total) prepared the dinner bags for that night. 500 pb and js. 180 handwritten cards. 250 sacked meals. One God who loves grandly. Without having the other team with ours I know we would have not completed the task, so I am thankful they ended up being with us. That night we set out in different teams to distribute meals and love the homeless.

I went with a couple people near 55th and Lex. Throughout the couple or so hours we were there, we spoke with a couple men and offered them food. One desired so much to speak with someone that we barely got words in to respond and he didn’t respond to us asking questions. Another man conversed with us and had a lot of wisdom to offer. Two very different men, but both needing attention and love from people. Don’t ignore the homeless, they are people and they are not who you think they are. We made sure to give out the rest of the food we had on us before stopping at a store to get a little snack. That night we made rootbeer floats at a friend’s place and considered the experience we had had.

The next day it was back to the ministry site, we worked in the Warehouse and in the office, moving and organizing many various things. It was hot sometimes and hard work. We all kept going though and helped how we could. Tuesday night we had our action group time, which is essentially bible study. We continued to discuss God’s love for those in poverty. Additionally, how God desires and expects people to have compassion on one another:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:1-4

At the end of the meeting, our leaders said some suspicious things and everyone begin to question what was going to happen next. They said we would have a meeting the next morning at 6 a.m. on the roof of the building. All the people on my track begin discussing what could possibly be the reason and some begin to get nervous and anxious. There were rumors which I tried to disregard until I knew the truth. The next morning I got up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for the day because I didn’t know what was coming. Once I got to the meeting, we were given a sheet of instructions and told to get three things from our room in fifteen minutes—we were starting a poverty simulation. I went upstairs chose my three items: pillow, mouthwash, and a bag in addition to our allowed items: bible, journal, pen, metrocard, and a water bottle. When we returned to meet our staff they took our keys and our cell phones (we could change our voicemails) and told us we were not residents of our building until further notice. We were given fake $20 and told we had some decisions to make. Here’s some of our choices: $6/meal, $4/shower, $2 to sleep on a warehouse floor, $1/transportation (per bus or subway ride), $3 for our clothes, $9 to sleep on carpet and so on. As can be seen from some simple math---there was no way we could afford everything not even all three meals and that was the point. That first day we had to travel to our site by subway so that was $1 (although some teams had $4 in expense!), I bought one meal-dinner, and I also decided I would sleep on the floor. I gave $1 to someone and saved the rest. We were kicked out at 7 a.m and we had to be at our ministry site at 9:30…so needless to say we had quite a bit of time to sit around. So, our track sat outside of the building till it was time to leave because we didn’t have money and we had no place to go.

Our team got tired of waiting outside of our residence so we decided to head to our ministry site early. It was our third day at the site and we waited outside for a while before the director of the ministry kindly let us in the building. He knew what we were experiencing and going to experience so he had compassion on us during the simulation. Our team worked the warehouse that day, through the heat and the humidity while lifting, pushing boxes and objects. It was not long until we became tired. The morning time went fast and it was time to have lunch. However, I had not bought a lunch! I was expecting to go without; I had not had breakfast. Remember the homeless outreach I mentioned before? Well, there were some leftover supplies, so the director with compassion and without prompting bought our team a loaf of bread and I had lunch! Oh the thankfulness. I would have continued to work on an empty stomach otherwise. After finishing our afternoon slot of organizing the warehouse, we were kicked out of the ministry site at 4. We had to be back at 5 to check in and then wait until 6 to go in. The good part was our whole track got to spend quality time together that way! Even though we were hot, tired, hungry, and resting on the public sidewalk…some were even sleeping. As we were brought into a room for dinner, there were three distinct areas set up: a big bowl of rice krispies with cups on the floor, spaghetti, meatballs, Snapple’s, cheesecake and then another area with sandwiches and chips. People randomly chose cards and I received a card entitled “low income”.

The staff explained to us that these different meals symbolized the inequality of food distribution around the world—not because of a lack of food, but a lack of sharing. I was blessed that earlier that day the director for my site had supplied lunch otherwise that day I would have only had a Styrofoam cup full of rice krispies. Totally a God thing that I didn’t have to be as hungry. After dinner I was really tired from the lack of sleep and work so while my track was socializing, I was relaxing/going in and out of sleep. Around 9, the staff told us the lights would be going out in five minutes and so everyone scrambled to get ready. The staff had removed a clock and any other source of time that we had available to us. If people had left their things in the room, staff would steal it (to recognize that items get stolen at homeless shelters). So, someone lost their pillow and another had their shoes taken. We all slept on the floor and while we were trying to sleep staff would come in and ring bells, set off sounds, and turn on the lights. (At least because of the heat we got to sleep in the office otherwise we would have slept on the warehouse floor). I feel blessed because I am a deep sleeper and once I was further in sleep those things while they woke me up, did not wake me up completely. Unfortunately for my project friends some of their sleep was completely disrupted (the noise making simulated feelings of discomfort and noise that exists in shelters). Everyone either had their stuff near them or underneath them for fear of having it stolen; I put my knapsack on backwards so that it would not get taken.

At 4:30 A.M. staff came in and told us—you have an hour left to sleep. They awoke us an hour later and stated we had five minutes to get our things from the room and fifteen to get ready. They then distributed the money and food for the day after we had finished getting ready; we were forced out by 6 a.m. (Oh, I also lost $10 that day…good thing I had saved some from yesterday). Our team had over three hours before we needed to be to our ministry site! We hung outside, resting on park benches and sidewalks; we frequently fell asleep. By 9 in the morning we were let into our site—ready for another hard day of work in the warehouse. Actually, under normal circumstances it probably would have been fine, but our team was tired and hungry so it was difficult to function. We were moving many heavy objects as well as organizing items. However, the director was gracious and allowed us a long lunch and to finish early to rest. What if this had been real life though? We would have had to work our full shifts—relying on God to make it through more than we had. Like the previous night, we had to wait around for two hours to get back into the building.

I had not paid for dinner that night so I had to wait around a little longer. The director of our ministry site was speaking to our group that night, but everyone seemed distracted and had a lack of interest. After hearing more about why some staff had decided to work in the inner city we were told we were going to do the “Homeless Survival Hunt”.

I will explain this experience and more on the simulation in the next entry (from Thursday night and on)! Please continue to pray for us: for passion for those we are serving, for energy, to keep focused on our reasons for being here-not home, and for us to share the love of Christ.

Another Unusual Fourth

I can say for certain there has only been a handful of times that I have not been able to follow tradition for the 4th of July. This is one of those years and this happened three years ago when I was in New York for the summer. It is a little disappointing to not be able to follow tradition; going back to the area my father grew up and spend time with my parents and my best friend’s family. However, there is a reassurance in being away as well. I know I am supposed to be here and today has not been bad, just different. This morning we went to church then I ate lunch with my group and discussed the speaker I mentioned before, Sy Rogers. Since returning from lunch in Central Park, I have been relaxing in room until I leave for the next adventure. Getting some rest in before this next week of serving is good too. I am hopeful that I WILL see fireworks tonight. My sweet best friend has been sending me text messages today as they do our usual 4th activities so that I can enjoy it vicariously.

As said before, I plan on discussing some things that I heard and learned from Sy Rogers (I believe you can learn more about him on syrogers.com). But, before I forget, I want to mention some sincere and beautiful moments we had with the children this week. Although children can be disobedient they have redeeming times (just like us adults, imagine that!) One of the boys who fought and ran a lot also braided my hair on Wednesday. At one moment, I had three children braiding my hair and soon after that two other girls on my team were having their hair braided as well. It was nice to see the children delight in some simple things like playing “Miss Mary Mack” (you know the patty cake rhyme? “Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack, All dressed in black black black…”). Also, they were very excited about going to the park the last day we were with them.

Now back to Sy. Just a forewarning, some of the topics I discuss may be sensitive or controversial in some arenas, but I want to be free to share them for the sake of honesty and genuineness. I have nowhere near the space to reiterate Sy’s story nor in the best way, so if you are curious about his life story I will direct you to the website in the previous paragraph. He is a very capturing man with quite a story. He spoke to us for almost ten hours this week (in split segments). Here are some quotes and thoughts on what he said:
- He often mentioned that everyone is sinful. People are quick to rank their self above others when it comes to behavior. However, no matter an individual’s behavior, if they are not reconciled to God through Christ, they will not get into heaven. Sy speaks up a lot about sexuality because it has a lot to do with his past. He said, “Both straight people and gay people can go to hell [if they have not been redeemed by Christ].” I think this reminds people to remove their self from pedestals; they are not better than another. He said further, “People struggle because they are human”. God knows this, He knows our struggles, and He wants us regardless of their existence. I think this is beautiful and reassuring (even though I knew it previously).
- People often define sin as bad behavior, distasteful behavior. Well, certainly that can be true. Sy went further and said sin is to “not do what God wants; to miss or fall short of the standard of God’s intent or design”. We could never meet all the marks, but Jesus reconciled that; He never failed. Sometimes we try to meet the standard, but fall short.
- It was also explained that there are MANY reasons why we sin. Yes, human nature has a big part of it, but that is not the only reason. These reasons explain our sin, but do not excuse them. Yet, as many times as we mess up, we can continue to return to God and ask Him to clean us and we will not be rejected.
- There is this perception that being a Christian solves all of life’s problems and makes it easier. This is not so. Christians still struggle, but instead of attempting those struggles on their own, they have Jesus. We still have temptation and sin in our lives. This realization means we can recognize when we are failing to “miss the mark” and turn to God. Additionally, since all humans struggle with different desires we are to love one another regardless of behavior. This is not to be accepting of behavior, but rather to love like Christ. God is the judge of the person, not us (“Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. Do not be afraid of any man, for judgment belongs to God. Bring me any case too hard for you, and I will hear it.” Deuteronomy 1:17). As Sy said, “I don’t have to be perfect for God to love me”.
- I especially was hit by Sy’s statement: “Love is to value someone”. It is so simple and Jesus showed it in the scripture so many times. He spoke to people and LOVED them, when society did not. This is true today. And so, even though I may not always agree with what people do or I miss the mark myself, I can turn to God and submit that downfall and trust in Him to work in me.
Sy gave so much information that I cannot include it all! I will just say God used him to impart a lot of information and wisdom to me. I am hoping that this creates transformation in me and the others who heard Sy. Also, by sharing I bet it will it give you all many things to think about. I’ll leave with this verse:
“So we have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith”. 1 Thessalonians 3:7.

Ohh, and Happy Fourth of July! Lots of love and remember to take at least a moment to think about the many sacrifices that have been made by individuals for the USA.

Fun, Rehoboth, and Lessons

I had been hoping to update my blog more often, but time just seems to slip away from me. At night when I return from our ministry sites or an activity, I usually want to journal and check my email—that’s it. Contrary to this, is my desire to blog. So, instead of blogging consistently, I guess I blog in huge chunks. Since last time…

This past week has been full of experiences, wisdom, and information. I don’t want to jump to the most recent, although it would be exciting to write about! Now that I think about it, so much has happened since I last wrote. Let me break it down (now).

Friday June 25th:
This day was busy, but laid-back as well, if that makes any sense. I got up that morning to do laundry which was actually a pretty frustrating experience. After doing laundry, I had some one on one time with my discipler over lunch. I told her a little bit about how my experience had been going and some about my personal life. After about an hour, another girl joined us and we discussed our previous weeks and did a bible study. We talked about what love really is and referenced Romans 12:9-18 to consider love. Love is sincere, full of zeal, rejoice, patience, and many other things. Later that night, the whole project went to the Mets vs. Twins baseball game. It was fun to all be together, to enjoy each other’s company, and to watch some baseball!

That weekend I did many fun things (since weekends are generally free time). On Saturday, I got to visit my dear cousin in the Upper West Side. Getting there took me about an hour from where I am living and I was late! Whoops. She was gracious about it. I enjoyed delicious whole wheat pancakes, peaches, and blueberries with her and some of her friends. After her friends left, we were able to spend a couple hours together before she needed to start studying for her test. It was some sweet time since I rarely see her. Afterwards, I hopped on the train again and headed back home to wait for a friend. My friend and I went to a coffeeshop to journal and talk about our first week and what God has been doing. Then, later that night we went to a woman’s apartment (who had previously been on the same project) to eat dinner. It was a fun time with some of the other girls; laughing, sitting on the roof and staring at the skyline, and enjoying home cooked food. I really enjoyed the time there and seeing the faith the woman had that God wanted her in New York. The next day (Sunday), we went to a church called Bethel Gospel Assembly in Harlem. The church service was so joyful, upbeat, and honest. One of the main messages was that God will use my past to reshape me and to bless others. I thought that was a good reminder. Afterwards, a group of us went to a soul food restaurant, Amy Ruth’s, and many of them had chicken and waffles. I enjoyed seeing them experience that for the first time. Sunday nights we have a track meeting where we reflect on the previous week and look forward to our next sites…

Speaking of ministry sites, our second site was called Rehoboth Church! It is located in a Caribbean neighborhood of Brooklyn. This was our second week in Brooklyn and it has latched onto my heart—I am fond of Brooklyn now. Our job at this church was to spend time with the children and do a devotional with them. We shared the stories of Jonah, David and Saul, Jesus, and one other. We wanted to share stories about obedience, responding in love and God’s greatest love act for us…Jesus. Each day proved to be a little easier than the first, but still not without a lot of difficulty. A lot of the children like to run around and there is not a bunch of space. Additionally, most of them are in elementary school (a few are older), yet some of their innocence is gone. They tended to resort to violence, so we had to attempt to break up a lot of fights. Sometimes it was tiring, sometimes it was joyful and full of laughter, and frustrating. However, these kids took a piece of me and it was unfortunate that we did not have more time with them. We got four full days, but that’s not much. The last day we were able to enjoy the park with them. Some of our fellow track members will get the blessing of spending a week with them. It was not just work—it was a great reminder of God’s love not just for people, but for children. I feel like the church blessed us more than we blessed them—they were so good to us. They supplied us with meals every day (sometimes two meals), were concerned about our safety, and gifted us with t-shirts when we left. They were so good to us, but now that I think it about it, this just parallels God’s love for us. God’s love is greater than we deserve; greater than we expect.

Besides ministry site time, we had some meetings this week. At our Monday night meeting (MNM), we heard about confession and resolution. More specifically, how keeping sin to yourself creates a barrier between you and God…a barrier which can and has been removed time and time again. Unconfessed sin or problems between individuals can create issues too. It is best to bring it to the forefront and allow God to renew you in Jesus’ blood. Tuesday morning, we had bible study and were reminded that everyone has different types of struggles. However, we can come alongside them and offer hope and try to fulfill their spiritual and social needs. More specifically, we spoke of the financial struggles some have and how much we have the power to help them. We have been blessed, so what can we do in response and thanks?

Thursday and Friday we had a speaker called Sy Rogers who spoke about a MULTITUDE of things. It was great, encouraging, and a lot to take in. I’m still reflecting. Next blog entry, I will talk about what I learned from that.

Please continue to pray for what we do here. We have two weeks of ministry site work left- I don’t want to lose gusto, love, or energy. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Pray for unity on my team, track, and project. We also have a homeless outreach on Monday with the whole project. May we reach out to people without judgment, but with love and understanding. Until next time…which will be soon! Lots of love.

First Ministry Site +++

This week has been full of spending time in Brooklyn, but before I get to explaining that…let me finish telling you all about my first weekend here! On Saturday, we had orientation in the afternoon during this time we heard a couple of testimonies and watched a 90 minute video. It was part of this Compassion by Command video and bible study we will do throughout project. The video centered on a single mother and her young daughter and their life within a couple months time span. Many unfortunate things happened within a small amount of time: her apartment was getting bull-dozed and she could not find an affordable apartment, no one allowed her to stay with them while she searched, and so her daughter and she quickly became homeless. She had to find shelters to sleep in, but soon after lost her job. Eventually, she was able to get help getting housing, but being homeless had tired her so much and there were rodents in her new housing. There were many complications and at the end of the movie, she had made the decision to give up her daughter so that she would have a better life. I feel like when people are in situations such I have described, we are quick to judge. We often think, if only she had done this or that, but I don’t think it is that simple. She would have likely not been homeless if the friends she had asked for help---to stay with---would have said yes. Yet, she would still need more help. We are here to help one another—it is sad to consider reality and realize how infrequently we do help one another. We look at our own situation and say, I can’t, I won’t, etc., because it is easier. This video really set the tone for the weeks to come.

The day after, Sunday, we attended a church near Broadway. It was quite contemporary, but it was fun and a great reminder. The main message was to have FAITH. To have faith that God will do great things that He keeps His promises; to have faith in Him. After attending church, a small group from my track went to S’Mac, a restaurant solely focused on serving delicious, various types of mac and cheese. Then we did a little browsing in that area and later on I went to a grocery store…Trader Joe’s. It was the busiest grocery store I had ever seen; there were lines back around the store, but I got my groceries. That night, we were put into our ministry teams. Most teams consist of five people, but ours is six. The staff chose our roles and discussed with us what those roles would mean. I was surprised by my role, not because I thought I could not fulfill it (although, sometimes I am self-conscious), but because recently I have been recognizing my shy and quiet tendencies. I was made team leader of my ministry team. This means that I introduce the group at the site and focus on our team serving as well as we can. I think this role will allow me to grow a lot, but also give me opportunities to be an encourager to others.

The next day we were at our site for the first time! It is called Beulah Church/ Agape Ministries and it is located in Brooklyn. We left early the first day to make sure we made it on time and were about twenty minutes early. We were greeted by some of the warmest personalities I have ever met. The first day we were given a tour of parts of Brooklyn both by foot and by car. We were also told information about Agape and some of the men’s testimonies/life stories. It was really great just to hear and see what God had done in their lives as well as with the ministry. As a group, we went to several different parts of the burrow. One of the most memorable parts of the tour was seeing an area where the projects and a small church were. The church is called New Breed Church and the pastor and his wife were wonderful. We may even attend church there some Sunday.

The next few days were filled with cleaning, packing food to give away, lots of prepping, and also organizing. I even shucked corn. The main three men we worked with were very sweet. They had such a kindness in their demeanor. It was really neat to share joy with them and spread love to those in the neighborhood. Our ministry team had some fun moments—at one moment a few of us were singing gospel songs. When we took breaks, we would sit and talk or play games. Sometimes it was tiring, sometimes peaceful, but most of all it reminded me to serve others with love. Today was our last day at Beulah, although it was bittersweet, it was a gift to my soul to learn from those men and to serve Brooklyn. It will be exciting to see what is in store for us next week, and I pray that God prepares our hearts to give again.

Some side notes of exciting things that happened this week. On Wednesday, we attended Mary Poppins on Broadway and ate out for Amy’s birthday (one of the fellow sp girls). The play was enjoyable, fun, and full of life lessons. It was nice to spend some quality time with the other girls on my track. Tonight, we had a meeting in Queens about reconciliation and although it was hard, it was really good to talk and be honest with one another (although, to be honest-ha-I didn’t speak much at the meeting). We spoke of racism and how much it still exists today. What should be done about it? What do we feel about it? It can be very difficult for people to come out and say what they really think. I appreciated hearing what others had to say and reflecting on my own thoughts. I have been trying to think about it and have realized that God is the ultimate reconciler. It is my hope that He will work through me to love those I encounter so that prejudices and expectations can be worked through. The world needs a lot of adjustments. God knows what those are and I am praying I can be a part of them.

May God continue to change me and show me how to love more deeply and give more fully. Until next time…love.