So you know that feeling?
The one where you are in a pool? When you try running and you feel like you are barely moving? That is where I am right now.
I am running after God's calling--seeking His plan, where He wants me. Yet, God still has me at home. I try to figure it out, but can't, it must mean there is some purpose for me to be here now...still.
I will fight for this. I will follow you God.
A dear friend brought to my attention chapter eleven of Hebrews; here are some verses that have stood out to me recently. Although, I recommend reading the whole chapter; the whole book.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." Hebrews 11:1-3
By faith, I am running up this mountain, awaiting God's guidance and provision. I believe He will get me through, again, again, and again...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Doubting
So, I thought I would not be blogging until I started my internship. However, I felt an urging that I should blog today. Thoughts are churning.
I will be honest, I have had my doubts about support raising (not the idea of it, but how/if it will be completed). I wonder, who doesn't?? It has been frustrating, putting work into it and not knowing what is going to happen. I remember this work is not in vain. There is PURPOSE. I feel deep deep deep down that God is urging me...
Do you believe I can provide?
Do you know I own all?
Apparently, I doubt the Almighty. I was so confident before. What is different, God or me?
Twice today, TWICE, I heard the story, although familiar to me, about the crowd, two fish, five loaves of bread, the disciples, and Jesus. The story can be found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, and Luke 9. The disciples doubt that Jesus can provide food for thousands of people, yet He does it. Not only that, but people were satisfied, and there was a surplus of food. Why do I question when I have seen personally how God provides TIME and TIME again?
I also feel prompted.
Do you TRUST that this is my plan for you?
I know it is, but this doubt is frustrating. I don't want to doubt God's plan.
So, here it is...God, I can't promise I won't doubt anymore. However, God, I will be obedient and trust You to carry me, because I'm not strong enough.
I will be honest, I have had my doubts about support raising (not the idea of it, but how/if it will be completed). I wonder, who doesn't?? It has been frustrating, putting work into it and not knowing what is going to happen. I remember this work is not in vain. There is PURPOSE. I feel deep deep deep down that God is urging me...
Do you believe I can provide?
Do you know I own all?
Apparently, I doubt the Almighty. I was so confident before. What is different, God or me?
Twice today, TWICE, I heard the story, although familiar to me, about the crowd, two fish, five loaves of bread, the disciples, and Jesus. The story can be found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, and Luke 9. The disciples doubt that Jesus can provide food for thousands of people, yet He does it. Not only that, but people were satisfied, and there was a surplus of food. Why do I question when I have seen personally how God provides TIME and TIME again?
I also feel prompted.
Do you TRUST that this is my plan for you?
I know it is, but this doubt is frustrating. I don't want to doubt God's plan.
So, here it is...God, I can't promise I won't doubt anymore. However, God, I will be obedient and trust You to carry me, because I'm not strong enough.
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