Swimming

So you know that feeling?

The one where you are in a pool? When you try running and you feel like you are barely moving? That is where I am right now.

I am running after God's calling--seeking His plan, where He wants me. Yet, God still has me at home. I try to figure it out, but can't, it must mean there is some purpose for me to be here now...still.

I will fight for this. I will follow you God.

A dear friend brought to my attention chapter eleven of Hebrews; here are some verses that have stood out to me recently. Although, I recommend reading the whole chapter; the whole book.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." Hebrews 11:1-3

By faith, I am running up this mountain, awaiting God's guidance and provision. I believe He will get me through, again, again, and again...

Doubting

So, I thought I would not be blogging until I started my internship. However, I felt an urging that I should blog today. Thoughts are churning.

I will be honest, I have had my doubts about support raising (not the idea of it, but how/if it will be completed). I wonder, who doesn't?? It has been frustrating, putting work into it and not knowing what is going to happen. I remember this work is not in vain. There is PURPOSE. I feel deep deep deep down that God is urging me...

Do you believe I can provide?
Do you know I own all?

Apparently, I doubt the Almighty. I was so confident before. What is different, God or me?

Twice today, TWICE, I heard the story, although familiar to me, about the crowd, two fish, five loaves of bread, the disciples, and Jesus. The story can be found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, and Luke 9. The disciples doubt that Jesus can provide food for thousands of people, yet He does it. Not only that, but people were satisfied, and there was a surplus of food. Why do I question when I have seen personally how God provides TIME and TIME again?

I also feel prompted.
Do you TRUST that this is my plan for you?
I know it is, but this doubt is frustrating. I don't want to doubt God's plan.

So, here it is...God, I can't promise I won't doubt anymore. However, God, I will be obedient and trust You to carry me, because I'm not strong enough.

Perspective

A while ago, I was looking and reading through my old blog entries, just up to the beginning of summer project, not my study abroad experience though. It has been interesting going through all my thoughts about summer project. I just realized that today marks the almost two month period of being home. It has not been without its ups and downs. I also recognized that today is the two-month “anniversary” of our cat being put down. I did not reveal this before, but my family put her down the last night I was at summer project. It was hard to say the least. She was about seventeen years old and I basically grew up with her around…she was three when we got her.

Anyway, I don’t want to get wrapped up in writing about our sweet cat, that’s not quite what I wanted to write about today. Last time I wrote, I was still adjusting to being back home and now I’m used to it. I can’t for certainty say I am where I believe I am supposed to be. However, for now I think God has me back home, until my next journey is revealed. I have had a lot of opportunities to talk to people about my summer and tell them what a blessing it has been as well as tell them it is JUST the beginning. God has broken my heart for many people.

My existence back here is such a change. I’m job searching and am no longer a student. In New York, my time was so planned and focused—it’s not quite like that now. Certainly, I continue to be organized and purposeful with my time, but not to that extent. I have been able to spend quality time with friends, doing things such as, baking, watching football, organizing my things, helping my parents, writing friends and much more. As much as I desire a full-time job, I feel I have been blessed with this time to do other things. One big joy has been my time with a local ministry.

Since the beginning of August, I have been doing service work with a ministry that focuses on meeting the needs of people and being a light to the community. I help with food distributions and kids’ nights. There are challenging moments, for instance, when I cannot understand someone because I don’t speak their language. Sometimes, it gives me a longing to know as many languages as possible. This most recent time was a little trying, but SO worth it. It was in the forties on Saturday and I got placed at a table with frozen food. I didn’t have gloves and I was handling frozen poultry. This is not to complain, but to say that giving and participating in meeting people’s needs can be difficult, but so beautiful. As it says in Deuteronomy 15:7-8, “7 If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. 8 Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs.” I am giving my time and my care, but in the scheme of things it is not too much. I don’t mean this in a good or bad way. I pray people are blessed through the things we are doing and see Christ’s love through our giving. Someone cares. They are not unimportant.

I’ve continued to seek what this means in relation to my family and friends. How do I love them? How do I care for them and show them Christ’s love? Being sinful, it can be a challenge, but I know in the end, following Christ is the way to live. Summer project has definitely been a useful tool, for developing how I relate to others and show them love. I feel this is often displayed in service. Also, I have been reading some books since I returned home.

The first one I read was by John Piper, a popular preacher among my friends and the book was given to me as a graduation gift from a dear couple I know. The book is entitled, “Life As A Vapor” and is a reminder that life is fleeting and quick. What should I be doing with my time?? Some choice quotes from the book:

“We simply do not know whether one path or the other will prove to be the path on which some remarkable turn of affairs may take place for the glory of God all out of proportion to what we planned or expected” (83-84).

“But we are not responsible that the choices we make, with the best motives and knowledge available, and with good counsel, will prove to be the most influential or effective choices in producing converts or changing lives. That is God’s work, not ours” (84). This quote really resounded with me because it reminds me, that it is not my work, but God’s and even my BEST efforts are not good enough if done on my own. I can only do what is in my heart and what God expects of me and trust His plans for what I’m doing.

“God is not like a firefighter who gets calls to show up at calamities when the damage is already happening. He is more like a surgeon who plans the cutting He must do and plans it for good purposes” (126). This reminds me that God has plans (Jeremiah) and that it is purposeful for me to endure the difficult times. A verse that shows I will not always understand God’s actions: “For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the spirit of God”. 1 Corinthians 2:11
I highly recommend that book; it was the first Piper book I read. I’ll probably read more. Following that book, I just finished, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. It, as well, is a Christian book. It gave me a lot of perspective about relationships, both romantic and platonic. Throughout reading these books, I’ve also periodically been reading a book called “Who Is Black? One Nation’s Definition” by F. James Davis. It’s pretty interesting; it’s a historical-sociological look at how society has defined who is African American. I guess I have really taken up reading since I have returned, but then I cannot remember when I did not like reading.

Something that has been good about this time back home…just a lot of searching and seeking God. I’m blessed that I have time to serve others, spend time with people, and parents who are patient with my job search. I’ll end this with good news---I got offered a part-time job! God IS good. I ponder this blessing especially today when I met a homeless man who became homeless two months ago when he lost his job. May God provide him relief and hope.

Finishing Moments

So, I have been home for less than two weeks now and being away from New York has not got much easier. I trust God is doing something greater that I do not understand right now. In efforts to reflect more on my experience, I want to continue sharing details.

My last Saturday in New York was an adventure. The plan was that seven of us would be going to Staten Island for roller-skating. Some others from our track went to Rockaway Beach instead. Those who were going to Staten Island were getting dressed up with fluffy voluminous styled hair, off the shoulder I <3 New York t-shirts, tights, shorts, headbands and knee high socks. Needless to say, we were a pretty noticeable group, but it was all in fun. Little did we know that the trip would take several hours and we would not end up going roller-skating at all. We took a ferry and a couple of buses in attempts to get to the rink. A couple of the girls had to turn back because they had to babysit in a few hours. And, after they left us, the bus driver dropped us off at an ice-skating rink in the middle of nowhere. This means no sidewalks, no shoulders on the road, woods around the building, no other buildings in sight, and the place was closed. After a few situations, we were able to make our way back to Manhattan by six that night (we had left at noon). It was actually kind of humorous rather than annoying. However, having not had much to eat that day, we quickly got ready after returning and went to dinner nearby. Later that evening I saw, “The Secret Life of Bees” and went to bed late. Oops.

Although Saturday did not turn out expected, it was nice to experience Staten Island in an unusual way and have some time with the girls. I looked forward to Sunday because I knew that I would be going to Brooklyn Tabernacle again. At one point during the service, they called down anyone who was unemployed and I went down and they prayed for us. It was very powerful and perfect timing since it was my last Sunday there. God’s planning for sure. The service spoke about not complaining in anything (Philippians 2:14-18). Something that the preacher stated that just really hit the point was, “Jesus didn’t murmur on the way to the cross when the disciples fought over “who was the greatest””. The Son of Man was going to overcome the sin of the entirety of mankind and He did not complain. Woah, I have no place to complain; I am messed up. That statement was a reality check. That day, I went with a few other girls to movie/t.v. sites throughout the city (for example the Friends’ apartment building). In the evening, I had some quality time with my discipler, we went to the Burger Joint for dinner then to Serendipity 3’s to put our name in. We were told we would have up to a two hour wait. It’s a pretty popular place. This was good because I had time to pick up some gifts for people, but also more time to reflect with my discipler. I got to consider my concerns and some of the things I had learned and get her input. It was really helpful and I’m still considering all that project has done; what God has done during project. Eventually, around 9;30 that evening, we got a table in the restaurant and ordered the famous Frozzzen Hot Chocolate. It’s huge and delicious. It was fun to just enjoy it and have time with some of the staff and some of the girls from my project. I was reminded that those were some of our last moments together. I was thankful for that time.

Monday was a good day as well. It started off slow and with time focusing on God. At about two I saw a movie with one of the staff women, maybe you have heard of it. Inception? Yes, I hope you have. I wasn’t planning on going to movie while in New York, but she really wanted to see it and I enjoyed going as well. If you haven’t seen Inception, I highly suggest it! By the time the movie ended it was after 4, so we headed to our favorite coffee shop Grounded. There, I grabbed a latte and she got an Americano. I may or may not have seen some t.v. stars there, but I’m not certain of their names. With our coffees in hand we walked towards a landmark I had heard about from a local, called High Line. This is a raised park, garden, and walkway. Originally, it was a raised rail, but for some reason or another it was put out of service. The residents of the area did not want it removed, so since then (it’s still very new and is not completely constructed) High Line has been created. It is currently ten blocks long, but will be twenty by its completion. It was quite a wonderful place and it gave us a setting to just walk and talk about project and about returning home. After walking the length once, we realized it was time to return to our residence to get ready for the last Monday Night Meeting. So we quickly walked back.

That night we got a chance to collectively praise God for what He had done on project by singing and sharing. We also got some time to fellowship while eating pizza and preparing letters for our supporters. We were reminded that it would be difficult to return home. Yet, it would also give us a chance to share what we had learned and continue to develop it. The speaker said something that was so true, but something that I tend to forget too often: “The degree to which we find worth in Christ will affect the degree to which we follow and give for Him”. My worth is shown when I fully follow God’s will for me. That’s what I seek often, or at least try to.



Tuesday was our LAST full day in New York. It was full of a lot of emotions. At first when I got up that morning, I had noooo idea what I was going to do that day till the evening. I wanted to make it last. I wanted to make it something. I wanted to make Tuesday meaningful. I really wanted to go to one last art museum before leaving NYC. I was enthused when a couple other girls were interested in doing the same! We went off to the Met for a couple hours in the afternoon. It was such a blessing and I really appreciated their willingness. After looking at sculptures, paintings, and other pieces, it was time to return home to get ready for our project banquet.

We went to Carmine’s in the Upper West Side for the (whole) project dinner; only a couple hundred of us. Dinner was served family style and had many courses. Throughout dinner we had bread, salad, two types of pasta, two types of meat, various desserts, and coffee. Needless to say, there was a lot a lot of food. It was good because it was time for us to just enjoy each other’s company. Dinner was very filling and although I received some bad news during dinner, I was excited for what followed dinner. We left Carmine’s for the Empire State Building where we would hear from the project director Ross, see an overview video, and (finally!) dance. Ross expressed his appreciation for the hard work of the project staff and presented them with “Tribeca” tote bags. The video was short and sweet, lasting for the duration of two songs and giving me a short time to ponder the entirety of project. In a few words, project was full of God’s glory, furthered my love for others because of God’s love, and reminded me of my human weakness. Maybe that wasn’t a few words, but it’s too difficult to be short about. I think that’s evident from my blog.

Since I’m fairly shy some of my friends were surprised at my excitement for dancing. They did not expect me to (really) dance which I found entertaining. I did not want the night to end. I did not want my time with project people to end. The dance and clean-up ended around 11 o’clock hour. I tried to find something to do with others. However, only a few of us ended up walking around Manhattan for a little bit and stopped at McDs. I was too full to get anything. Afterwards, I returned to my residence and went to the roof for the last time where I visited with a few girls. I ended up staying up until about two that morning in preparation to leave and attempting to prolong project.

The next day, a dear project friend and I rode a taxi to the airport together. (I hailed the taxi on the first try!) I tried to stay with her at the airport as long as I could; her flight was thirty minutes before mine. My flights went quickly, but not without a little hunger (my flight was around lunch time so I ate quite a few pretzels). I got some time to journal on the plane and start the reflection process. Almost two weeks later and I’m still reflecting. More on that next time.

Nearing the End

Since I last wrote, I have left New York. It was difficult to leave and I was not ready. However, I want to catch up since my last entry!

Our last ministry site was in Brooklyn and it was called Power Up Fellowship and Faith (Puff ministries). It is in Brownsville, which is considered one of the most dangerous parts of Brooklyn—this was proved further when on one of our days the Bishop took us to the police precinct for that area. It was eye-opening to hear the stats for the violent crimes in that area. At first, it was a little scary to know the reality, but then I reminded myself that I had not once felt unsafe in that area. The Bishop had always made me feel safe with my team and as well, I knew that God had plans for us there. Usually, the Bishop from this ministry works with gangs to defuse violence. At the time we were working with the ministry we were focusing on other things. During the time we were at Power Up, our team helped clean up the church, pull weeds, pick up trash, play with the Bishop’s grandchildren, and set up a table filled with donations for community members to come by and take. A couple of my team members went to stores nearby to ask for donations and one store gave some items to put on the tables. The Bishop had such a joy about serving in that area and before we left he asked us what we learned and how we thought they could better serve the community. I thought it was very humble of him to do such and I appreciated that he would ask us. The Bishop and his wife, the Pastor were two very wonderful people to work with and I enjoyed serving their ministry. In August, they will be having a health and education fair so please pray that they are equipped with the resources to best serve the community.

During the week of our last ministry site we had our usual meetings—Monday nights for the whole track, Tuesday night we had dinner at one of the staff’s apartments and discussed compassion, and Wednesday was a free night. On the night of Thursday the 15th we had a progressive dinner. There are a few staff people that live on a certain part of the city and so our whole track split into three (“Action group” which is like a bible study group) and took turns going to different staff apartments. After going to three different apartments and discussing staff life in the city- the whole track reconvened in a community center for dessert and track debrief. Debrief was a time for our track director to encourage us to continue to grow in what we learned on project and in our faith in Christ. It gave all the participants time to share stories from experiences throughout project. I was really empowered by the stories that the people on my track shared because they not only shared what had happened to them, but were also very honest and glorified God through their speaking. The night was a little bittersweet because it was one of our last nights together as a complete track.

On Friday, a few of the girls and I went to China Town to pick up souvenirs for people. We had to be fast about it because we had to meet the rest of the track back at our residence at 1. We were having one last (complete) track time because our director and some other staff were leaving for home on Sunday. I enjoyed exploring China Town with the girls. Our track went to Governor’s Island which we had to take a ferry to (I think it was pretty hot that day). The plan was to either ride bikes around the island (“free Fridays”) or to just walk around. Most of our track explored on foot, however a couple staff families rode a family bike/cart. There were a bunch of beautiful buildings and just open space there (no one resides on Governor’s Island). A group of us just walked around…I eventually got a chicken pita (that eventually squirted on me!) and then icecream. We stopped at a playground and swung. Time went really quickly and we went back to meet one another as a whole track. We took time to pray as teams and as a track before taking the ferry back to Manhattan. We thanked God for experiences and the work he had done in us and through us. It was prayed that He would continue those things. We had to say goodbye to some staff and the realization that project would be ending soon set in.

After returning from Governor’s Island a group of us got ready to go the Art Installation that the Art track had been preparing for all summer. It was ah-mazing. I’m already such an art lover, but it was even greater to see artists who wanted to incorporate their faith with their art. There were seven pieces: some were installations, some were photos, one was a performance, and another was a short film. It was all introspective and included themes. It gave me a lot to think about and to appreciate as well. Afterwards the group of us that went to the installation went to dinner in Chelsea. We went to this restaurant called RUB (Righteous Urban Barbeque) where we got a meat plate and some sides. The six of us ate most of it (it was delicious!) and then saved the rest to give away. Once finishing dinner we split in half and I and two other women walked around Chelsea. First, we stopped in a random dollar store and then we ended up at Hudson River Park. It was beautiful at night. We explored further and then went back home. Before we went back, we had a chance to pray for a homeless man and give him our leftovers. He had some difficulties with his wife and it was our prayer that he would turn to something other than alcohol to relieve his pain. It was a full and memorable last Friday.

Simulation and Forward

Well—part two of simulation information is here. Our track was informed we would have to go out into Manhattan (we were in Queens at that moment) to do a scavenger hunt in groups. There were three people in our group. As a part of the scavenger hunt we had to do things like collect 20 cans or bottles, ask a stranger for 25 cents, find something useful in a dumpster, find something to eat, ask where to find various emergency assistance helps, talk to an elderly person, and more. I have to be honest, at first I was annoyed and frustrated that we had to do this. Unlike other ministry teams, ours had been sheltered from being seen by much of the public except when we were waiting outside the warehouse. It was selfish, but I didn’t want to be seen by a bunch a people and I didn’t want to talk to them or make that effort. I felt uncomfortable in the clothes I had worn for two days, that I had slept in, worked in, sweated in, and had gotten dirt in. At some point during the process, God changed my heart. I was blessed to have a team member step up and talk to people because I seemed to inhibit myself from reaching out for help. I could easily see how it could quickly become frustrating for homeless people to ask for help. People ignore the homeless, respond negatively (by speech or looks), and do not often have the information needed—this is what my team experienced anyway. At the end of the scavenger hunt, we were to meet the staff at a subway stop near our residence and I thought, “That would just be mean to tease us like that if we weren’t done”. Our group ended up having a long conversation with a woman who had been homeless. She informed us of the difficulty she has had getting a job, keeping clothes (they frequently got stolen), among other issues. She really had a lot to tell us, it was important to listen, but then we were late meeting the others. Whoops.

It ended! We returned to our resident Thursday night. Although it was only two days, God used it to impart a lot of wisdom and insight:
- Desperation and sadness can come on quickly when in dire situations.
- I have to depend on God for strength—hunger, tiredness, and weakness—I cannot overcome on my own.
- I didn’t care enough about those in poverty before even though I thought I did.
- My life is rich with blessings which I can offer to others.
- People are meant to interact with one another—what happens when an individual is frequently ignored? Would they go crazy or what?
- I should consider how I can better minister to people’s needs with what I have.
- I had it better than people in real poverty do and yet, it was hard. How difficult it must be to experience daily struggle to survive within an indefinite time period.
- Do NOT discount people based on appearance or their standing in life. It is not that simple to understand someone. Stop, listen, and love.

Those are just snippets of what I have learned and been reminded of by the simulation. The day after, Friday we were encouraged to sleep in and ponder over the experience because we were going to discuss it that night. We arrived at our debrief location where we were videotaped and our whole group discussed poverty. Afterwards, our staff sweetly served us dinner (Italian food!) and we had dessert afterwards. Following that our track voted to watch “Remember the Titans” (I voted for “Up”) and enjoyed each other’s company. We cleaned up the space and a small group of us went to Times Square for a little bit.

Saturday and Sunday I did some random things: went to a coffee shop (which I saw a bride and groom at…unique!), stopped at a ministry event, went out to eat, went shopping, saw the Brooklyn Bridge (and walked across), had ice cream (twice!), and my favorite: attended Brooklyn Tabernacle! It is a church that has a huge choir. It’s more than that though…the passion for God is grand and their desire to listen to the Holy Spirit is great! During the service we prayed for some Christians in Pakistan because in their area requests to kill Christians had been made. It was difficult to hear, but also revealed reality of how good I have it to feel safe most of the time.

On Monday (yesterday), we started our fourth and final ministry site! Sad, just sad because I feel I can do more here. I feel it shouldn’t be over soon—I’m not ready. Please pray our teams continue to work hard, stay focused on being here, and that we share God’s love!

Feeling It

So, on the Fourth I did see fireworks, from a rooftop near the river. FUN! I’m glad I did, otherwise it wouldn’t have felt like the Fourth. About half of my track was at this apartment building because a friend had invited us over. We ate beef hotdogs, kettle chips, and chocolate chip cookies on the roof and Catch Phrase followed. After the fireworks show ended, we waited a while to leave because there were SO many people leaving Hudson River Park after having watched fireworks. The next day we started our next ministry site.

My team’s ministry site this week was at Here’s Life Inner City. This is the Inner City ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. Here’s Life comes alongside already existing ministries and equips them with tools and resources. The first day at the ministry site (Monday) we were preparing dinner bags. Monday night our whole project (less than 200) did a homeless outreach in Manhattan. To prepare for that our team and thank goodness another team (11 people total) prepared the dinner bags for that night. 500 pb and js. 180 handwritten cards. 250 sacked meals. One God who loves grandly. Without having the other team with ours I know we would have not completed the task, so I am thankful they ended up being with us. That night we set out in different teams to distribute meals and love the homeless.

I went with a couple people near 55th and Lex. Throughout the couple or so hours we were there, we spoke with a couple men and offered them food. One desired so much to speak with someone that we barely got words in to respond and he didn’t respond to us asking questions. Another man conversed with us and had a lot of wisdom to offer. Two very different men, but both needing attention and love from people. Don’t ignore the homeless, they are people and they are not who you think they are. We made sure to give out the rest of the food we had on us before stopping at a store to get a little snack. That night we made rootbeer floats at a friend’s place and considered the experience we had had.

The next day it was back to the ministry site, we worked in the Warehouse and in the office, moving and organizing many various things. It was hot sometimes and hard work. We all kept going though and helped how we could. Tuesday night we had our action group time, which is essentially bible study. We continued to discuss God’s love for those in poverty. Additionally, how God desires and expects people to have compassion on one another:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:1-4

At the end of the meeting, our leaders said some suspicious things and everyone begin to question what was going to happen next. They said we would have a meeting the next morning at 6 a.m. on the roof of the building. All the people on my track begin discussing what could possibly be the reason and some begin to get nervous and anxious. There were rumors which I tried to disregard until I knew the truth. The next morning I got up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for the day because I didn’t know what was coming. Once I got to the meeting, we were given a sheet of instructions and told to get three things from our room in fifteen minutes—we were starting a poverty simulation. I went upstairs chose my three items: pillow, mouthwash, and a bag in addition to our allowed items: bible, journal, pen, metrocard, and a water bottle. When we returned to meet our staff they took our keys and our cell phones (we could change our voicemails) and told us we were not residents of our building until further notice. We were given fake $20 and told we had some decisions to make. Here’s some of our choices: $6/meal, $4/shower, $2 to sleep on a warehouse floor, $1/transportation (per bus or subway ride), $3 for our clothes, $9 to sleep on carpet and so on. As can be seen from some simple math---there was no way we could afford everything not even all three meals and that was the point. That first day we had to travel to our site by subway so that was $1 (although some teams had $4 in expense!), I bought one meal-dinner, and I also decided I would sleep on the floor. I gave $1 to someone and saved the rest. We were kicked out at 7 a.m and we had to be at our ministry site at 9:30…so needless to say we had quite a bit of time to sit around. So, our track sat outside of the building till it was time to leave because we didn’t have money and we had no place to go.

Our team got tired of waiting outside of our residence so we decided to head to our ministry site early. It was our third day at the site and we waited outside for a while before the director of the ministry kindly let us in the building. He knew what we were experiencing and going to experience so he had compassion on us during the simulation. Our team worked the warehouse that day, through the heat and the humidity while lifting, pushing boxes and objects. It was not long until we became tired. The morning time went fast and it was time to have lunch. However, I had not bought a lunch! I was expecting to go without; I had not had breakfast. Remember the homeless outreach I mentioned before? Well, there were some leftover supplies, so the director with compassion and without prompting bought our team a loaf of bread and I had lunch! Oh the thankfulness. I would have continued to work on an empty stomach otherwise. After finishing our afternoon slot of organizing the warehouse, we were kicked out of the ministry site at 4. We had to be back at 5 to check in and then wait until 6 to go in. The good part was our whole track got to spend quality time together that way! Even though we were hot, tired, hungry, and resting on the public sidewalk…some were even sleeping. As we were brought into a room for dinner, there were three distinct areas set up: a big bowl of rice krispies with cups on the floor, spaghetti, meatballs, Snapple’s, cheesecake and then another area with sandwiches and chips. People randomly chose cards and I received a card entitled “low income”.

The staff explained to us that these different meals symbolized the inequality of food distribution around the world—not because of a lack of food, but a lack of sharing. I was blessed that earlier that day the director for my site had supplied lunch otherwise that day I would have only had a Styrofoam cup full of rice krispies. Totally a God thing that I didn’t have to be as hungry. After dinner I was really tired from the lack of sleep and work so while my track was socializing, I was relaxing/going in and out of sleep. Around 9, the staff told us the lights would be going out in five minutes and so everyone scrambled to get ready. The staff had removed a clock and any other source of time that we had available to us. If people had left their things in the room, staff would steal it (to recognize that items get stolen at homeless shelters). So, someone lost their pillow and another had their shoes taken. We all slept on the floor and while we were trying to sleep staff would come in and ring bells, set off sounds, and turn on the lights. (At least because of the heat we got to sleep in the office otherwise we would have slept on the warehouse floor). I feel blessed because I am a deep sleeper and once I was further in sleep those things while they woke me up, did not wake me up completely. Unfortunately for my project friends some of their sleep was completely disrupted (the noise making simulated feelings of discomfort and noise that exists in shelters). Everyone either had their stuff near them or underneath them for fear of having it stolen; I put my knapsack on backwards so that it would not get taken.

At 4:30 A.M. staff came in and told us—you have an hour left to sleep. They awoke us an hour later and stated we had five minutes to get our things from the room and fifteen to get ready. They then distributed the money and food for the day after we had finished getting ready; we were forced out by 6 a.m. (Oh, I also lost $10 that day…good thing I had saved some from yesterday). Our team had over three hours before we needed to be to our ministry site! We hung outside, resting on park benches and sidewalks; we frequently fell asleep. By 9 in the morning we were let into our site—ready for another hard day of work in the warehouse. Actually, under normal circumstances it probably would have been fine, but our team was tired and hungry so it was difficult to function. We were moving many heavy objects as well as organizing items. However, the director was gracious and allowed us a long lunch and to finish early to rest. What if this had been real life though? We would have had to work our full shifts—relying on God to make it through more than we had. Like the previous night, we had to wait around for two hours to get back into the building.

I had not paid for dinner that night so I had to wait around a little longer. The director of our ministry site was speaking to our group that night, but everyone seemed distracted and had a lack of interest. After hearing more about why some staff had decided to work in the inner city we were told we were going to do the “Homeless Survival Hunt”.

I will explain this experience and more on the simulation in the next entry (from Thursday night and on)! Please continue to pray for us: for passion for those we are serving, for energy, to keep focused on our reasons for being here-not home, and for us to share the love of Christ.